11 Weeks Expecting + How My World Turned Upside Down

For 11 weeks, I’ve been hiding my pregnancy. If you follow me on IG, you may remember the story of the boys and I going to the OB-gyn to remove my IUD last April. I asked the kids in the IG video why we were at the doctors and Leo (adorably!) noted, "To have a little lady!”

I then spent April through August allowing my body to regulate. It was so thrown off from 5 years of having the local hormones of Mirena flowing through my body that I would spot irregularly, bleed for days, and didn’t re-regulate my period for some time.

In August, on our trip to Israel, Adi and I read the book, The Shettles Method and focused on what life would look like with three of our own.

The Shettles method was recommended by our best friends, Katie and Duncan, who had their little boy using this system. The basic idea is that boy producing sperm is much faster and dies quicker, while girl producing sperm is slower and lasts longer. Therefore, if you want to have a girl, you have sex several days before ovulation and stop having sex two days before.

I really wanted to “spin” to have a little girl. But to be honest, spending thousands of dollars on a less than 100% plan that meant pumping my body with hormones, blood tests, feeling like a crazy person until we got pregnant and THEN still end up with no guarantee of the gender we wanted didn’t sound like my cup of tea. So we tried this.

From August to September, Adi and I weren’t IN IT yet. We were both afraid and getting far too deep in our heads. Mostly, we have been in a really awesome place the past two years, doing pretty much anything we wanted to do when we wanted to do it. We reached a very cool balance of parenting and having an independent life without kids. We have had an amazing flow with babysitters we trusted and the kids are both in school all day (Leo is 5 in tK and Kai is 7 in 1st grade). We take stay-cations at hotels with friends when we feel like it. We head to Ojai or Joshua Tree for an adventure on a whim. We go to concerts, date nights, late dinners or out for drinks whenever we damn well please. If we are tired on a Saturday morning from staying up late the night before, we simply tell the kids to make themselves breakfast and play in the playroom until we wake up. Kai proceeds to make them both gluten-free waffles with a side of berries and they go upstairs and play with their toys and use their imaginations until we wake.

PRETTY DREAMY, HUH? So why fuck it all up?

My relationship with my mother has gone through years of healing. Mostly on my own and including cutting energetic cords, therapy and resolution within my own heart+soul for our relationship. I prayed to have boys because for so long my relationship with my mom was tumultuous at best, and I feared replicating that relationship with my own daughter.

A baby's body is literally made of her mother's juices. If mama’s brain habitually produces stress hormones and she keeps herself in fear+anxiety based thoughts then that is the chemistry the fetus is growing in.

This is why it is so essential to work out all the psychic confusion as early as possible in the process.

If this work is done before conception, it allows the future parents to attract a more evolved soul to partner up with them than if they have ignored the work.

Get to work on yourself now. Whether it's for you or your calm, peaceful, alert+happy baby! You'll forever be thankful.

Now that I’ve healed this maternal tie, I am ready for the next, most challenging journey of my life: raising a daughter.

There’s a part to me that feels incomplete. I dream of this baby girl. I’ve held her in my arms and I’ve seen her as a teenager. I see her connecting with Kai and Leo. I imagine adventures together as a family of five.

Once Adi and I got it together and realized that we can create anything we want in this life, that we already have, and we will only continue this dream…we were ready. The end of September, maybe with the change of seasons, we were finally aligned.

I lead my first IGNTD women retreat with Caley Alyssa in Vail, CO and during that time I called myself out on not fully showing up to this decision. That out of fear, out of wanting things to stay in easy flow, I was denying myself one of the most rewarding pleasures in all of life: raising a little girl.

I spoke my intentions into reality. I created a dream scenario, moving meditation that entailed waking up in my bedroom to the sound of our baby girl's coo from the basket beside the bed and envisioned her with me every step of the day.

That weekend, I believe the baby implanted. That weekend, I believe I manifested, or womb-ifested this dream into a reality.

It’s amazing what happens when you really and truly step into your life, face your fears, process it ALL and show up 100%.

The following week my body already felt different. The skin around my belly felt softer and it felt almost like a different consistency. It felt weird to lay on my stomach (the way I work on my laptop most days).

One week later I bought a 3 pack of 5-day early pregnancy tests. I took a pregnancy test 5 days out from my first missed period and it was negative. I didn’t let it upset me because I knew it was wrong. The next day, I went to NYC for a quickie work trip to promote our Yoga Girls reality show and continued to feel I was holding onto a secret that only my body and I knew. Before a test could even detect. Before it even showed up in my urine. CRAZY! The evening I flew home from NYC (3 days out from the first day of my missed period) and chugged water in my Uber at midnight, ran upstairs to my bathroom and took the test. The entire house was sleeping, all three boys snoring away.

The second line appeared right away!!!! I had to blink my eyes a few times and felt this incredible surge of energy rush through my body. It was 1am on October 11th, Adi and mine’s anniversary. I woke Adi up and he was super disoriented as I was crying happy tears and told him in the dark. He kissed me, said how happy he was and we lie in the bed for hours restlessly thinking about the rest of our lives with another being in it.

That was 6 weeks ago.

The way they calculate pregnancy is quite odd, since they don’t know the exact day of conception they calculate your due date based on the date of your last period. So, I’m 11 weeks pregnant now, but in fact my body has really only been pregnant for 6 weeks. Not sure if that makes sense.

Our little fetus has been developing beautifully, but making me incredibly sick. About a week after I found out I was pregnant the “morning sickness” hit me. It increased as the days went on. I had to cancel multiple events, incredible dinners, birthday parties, panels, so many amazing and fun things in my world because I wasn’t able to keep my food down or go anywhere without feeling disgusted by smells and needing to lie in the fetal position.

I spent a solid month napping the day away and dreaming of the next nap, since I was physically exhausted and sleeping was the only time I didn't feel extremely ill.

This time was a time of complete surrender.

A time to remember my choices, a time to reflect on my desires, to really connect to this reality that THIS IS HAPPENING. That she will turn my life upside down and that nothing is as important as her, her health and my love for her.

We couldn’t be more excited for this baby girl to join our world.

I know with my whole heart and soul that she was destined for me and I for her.

I know deep within my bones that Adi and I can handle anything thrown our way and that we will continue to be successful and full of joy in our love and life.

Thank you all for following on this journey and for your endless love+support.

I’ll keep updating along the way! Feel free to ask questions, we are all in this together and it truly takes a village. Xx

Have anything to share or questions about my conception with our newest Jaffe member? Connect with me on Twitter. Share your own conception story using #PhilosophieLove.

Comments (3):

Maria on

I don’t know why, but everything lately the past 2 months has been going in a full circle motion. I dream of my baby grrl all the time. I have 2 boys, 16 months and 2 1/2, and I felt guilty for wanting that baby grrl, wanting to have a relationship I never had with my mom. My mom was extremely abusive both physical and verbal, I have forgiven her and understand that she has gone through her own traumas in her life and she never received healing. She continued plowing through life, building stress and not knowing how to nurture or love really. But she is a different person with my children, she says the person she wished she could have been with us. I have had my cards read and there she is, my baby grrl pops up… my husband and I finally took a leap and we are waiting to see if our baby grrl shows up. Loved reading this post… so happy for u and ur family

Madison on

I follow your story on here and instagram. Thank you for sharing your light !

Dori on

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. I truly believe in the connection you have to make before you conceive a child and cutting energetic ties. It’s great that your discussing this important topic.. Congratulations !!

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Other articles:

My Fall Favorites for the Ultimate Coziness

I’m all about FALL - it’s a wonderful time for turning inward, finding gratitude, expressing love and cozying on up! I need this energy so much in my life right now so I’m making this season count and taking full advantage of the cozy vibes.


Along with joining my Philosophie fam on a GROUP FALL RESET (starting on the Autumn Equinox on Monday, 9/23) these are some of my favorite essentials I keep around the home all throughout this season for my own self-care and healing.


1) Books! And one of my go-to's for DROPPING IN is Mamaste by Lori Bregman

A beautiful read about supporting motherhood from within and finding community along the way. Some others in my essential reads are: The Book of Awakening, Ram Daa Be Here Now, Untethered Soul, I Am Her Tribe, Yoga Journal


2) Palo Santo 

A MUST for creating positive energy. I use Palo Santo during the cooler months because we’re home more and have a tendency to invite over more friends + family for the holidays so I want to make sure we invite in positive, uplifting energy in our space. 


3) Liquid Sunshine Chlorophyll Drops

Chlorophyll has been part of my daily routine for years and I’m so happy I can share this magic with you all! It has the power to completely transform your water - it detoxifies your body systems, hydrates your skin and boosts the stimulation of the immune system. So necessary when battling a cold!


4) Green Dream Savory Blend

An essential for easy nutritious + tasty dinners for you and the family! I use it on all my favorite roasted veggies, soups and savory meals! So yummy!

5) Superfood Lattes

Mmmmm! I can't get ENOUGH of these superfood lattes! While a fancy latte may sound like something you should leave up to your barista, it's just as easy to make in your own home! 


6) The Moon Deck Cards

This deck is one of my best friends and is so beautiful! Whenever I feel super overwhelmed or like I need a bit of inner guidance, I use this deck to tap in and it always gives me a beautiful message of clarity.


7) Chrysalis Healing Water

This is pure SKIN MEDICINE, an anti-aging treatment AND a skin hydration solution that makes me glow. I usually put it on throughout the day + it smells amazing—it's a luscious combo of sweet orange, rose, and plumeria.


8) Candles and I’m loving Dehv!

A good candle can completely change the energy of a room and I love using candles that are made consciously and so full of love like Dehv. Their packaging is also insanely gorgeous!

What are YOUR fall favorites? Share them with us on Instagram with #myphilosophie!

Refusing To Cover Up + Products With A Purpose

As a mama and, truthfully, a woman, I’m told a lot about what I should and shouldn’t be doing in order to have a perfect, healthy life. After years of work in establishing boundaries and leaning in fully to my intuition, I’m not easily swayed by the rules and labels put on women. I’ve created such a strong circle that I barely come across products and stigmas that don’t align with my life. But, I know they exist and my hope is to help other women cut through all that noise and come back to their own body in a beautiful, gentle and loving way. I REFUSE to shrink and label myself to do things that make me look, feel or SMELL better. The second we try to hide what we’re made of is the second we create a toxic cycle within our bodies. 


This is why I’m challenging myself to commit to certain clean, non-toxic products that enhance my natural body’s makeup for the next few months and see how I feel and where I end up. I would love for you to join this movement with me!


Using products made with natural and purposeful ingredients EMBRACES our natural beauty. I am partnering with type:A deodorant for the next few months to see what happens after committing to ONE clean deodorant for several months. I’m so excited to see it all unfold and will update you along the way! 


Deeply connecting to our intuition and focusing on the natural beauty allows us to truly radiate out to the world and we organically look, smell and feel better without harmful chemicals and toxins covering us up. Other ways you can create this natural beauty and glow is through:

Mindful movement: Moving your body in a way that feels good deep within your bones like a morning yoga flow, a midday afternoon jog around the neighborhood or a HITT class at your local gym.

Daily nourishment: Eating lots of fresh fruits + veggies and TONS of superfoods because it gives you long-lasting energy and boosts your body’s nutrients. Eating all the colors because it’s fun, delicious and rewarding.

Conscious consumerism: Using trusted and safe products like type:A to support natural body functions (aka sweat!) makes you GLOW from the inside out.


All type:A deodorants are aluminum-free, paraben-free (needed!) and come in gorgeous scents like The Dreamer which is made of a soft white floral linen scent with hints of ylang ylang and jasmine. It feels super lightweight when I put it on and gentle to my skin. Since it’s cream-based it also moisturizes my skin but dries to the touch. It’s amazing! I’ve never had deodorant in a tube, but I can already tell, I’m a fan.

If you’d like to join me and try type:A for yourself, use my code “SOPHIE20” for 20% off! So excited to see how my body feels after these few months and I’ll continue to update you all throughout this journey!

How To Do It All

In living a life that’s filled up with so much adventure, hard work, joy, love and laughter it’s important that I also live a life of RADICAL TRANSPARENCY. A lot of the good is coupled by a lot of heartache, pain, and struggle. Multiple times a day I’m asked, “How do you do it all?!” and as a mama of 3, an entrepreneur, wife, sister, friend, yoga teacher and wellness advocate—the truth is, I don’t. My loving Philosophie community, I will tell you anything about everything because I WANT to share the things that bring me joy, sanity and peace. So that you can live a life you deserve, too. So when it comes to “doing it all” I’ve learned (the hard way) to ask for help


My support system has been made from years and years of trust, open communication, and growth. From my husband to my business team, my chosen family and other trusted services, my businesses have grown (Philosophie and IGNTD) and my children live a life that supports their nurturing and allows me to show up to them fully as a mother. I have an amazing manager Erin Cutler, founder of Neon Rose Agency (truly amazing if you’re looking for a manager!!) and an incredible personal assistant, Taylor Heinrich

When it comes to my kiddos, we knew a network of babysitters wouldn’t cut it anymore and we couldn’t afford a full-time nanny so we tried out Cultural Care, which is an au pair cultural program bringing amazing humans from other parts of the world to live with you and be a part of your family. Our au pair, Noemii became part of our family. If you’re not ready for an au pair, you can also explore sharing a nanny with another family or swap when you can, meaning you watch a neighbor’s kids and then they watch yours another time. 


How do you ask for help?

Communication is SO important. While nothing is perfect, a relationship is built on communication, intimacy, vulnerability and trust. It’s knowing that in order to succeed in life you have to delegate and let others step in and pick up the reins when you can’t. It’s knowing that you’re human and you’ll never be perfect but as long as you put in the work, do the research and SHOW UP then life is saner and 100x more enjoyable. 


Some of my favorite service and go-to's include:

Bambino Sitters: I use this especially when I’m traveling because I don’t want to feel trapped because little babe is asleep. I want the freedom to explore.

Kango: A literal lifesaver in navigating my kid’s schedules that are often busier than mine! This reliable car pickup/dropoff service is super safe and I trust them 100% to help get my boys wherever they need to be on any given day.

Washos: Mobile car wash and detailing service that is SUPER helpful when you need a quick wash but can’t leave your home.

Spatial Soulutions: Dany has become part of my family and helps keep my home organized and beautiful. I work with her every few months or so to make sure things stay clean, organized and functional. Highly recommend!!

Find some of my other MOM HACKS in this post and tips for a WORKING MOM here. You can also find some of my favorite beauty tricks and secrets that have become timesavers in this post. Never feel guilty for asking for help and support! Relationships are built on an equal give and take. Know that every problem has a solution once you take yourself out of the “victim” role. You got this!


Anything I’m missing? Anything you use? Share in the comments below!

Cutting Cords Energetically to Align with Your Highest Self

We’re spiritual beings. We share energy on a daily basis with humans, places and things. Most of the time they bring in positivity, joy and love into our lives but there are times when they create low vibrational energy. By sharing energy we create attachments or energy cords to relationships and things that either serve our highest good or block our growth. Like a mother’s bond to a child or a passionate bond to a lover, energy cords are made up of mutual sharing, trust and love. As we are always in a state of growth, bonds have the potential to shift or transform as time comes and goes. It’s our CHOICE to decide when energy shared enhances your life or restricts it. Then you can decide how to move forward from there. 


There are certain people and things you effortlessly align with and keep coming home to over and over and over again. Trust their love for you. Trust the joy they bring you. Anyone who you can pick up exactly where you left off and get DEEP into it—those are your people. Hold them close. 


Decide now to choose YOU. Your joy and happiness. Nobody or nothing can rob you of your joy. Did you know that? If you feel the energy cord inhibiting you from living a life you’re meant to experience, let go. Create more space. More music. More baths. More nature. More breaths. More fun. More nourishment. Cut cords energetically for more love and gratitude to seep in. 

What are some signs of unwanted energy cords?

Obsessive thoughts or behaviors around a person or thing

Negative self-talk or feelings with that relationship

Feeling drained with a person or a thing

You don’t feel like your true self around that person or with that thing

You hold onto to the hurt or pain in a low vibrational way

The relationship makes you physically anxious, tired or sick


The same way we can energetically attach to people, places or things, we can also physically attach. It’s our choice and birthright to cut any forms of an unhealthy attachment. Through connecting to your intuition and maintaining nourishing self-care rituals and practices you’ll recognize where energy cords are strengthening or depleting you.


The best thing you can do is let go of feeding that person, place, trauma or hurt your energy through thought or emotion. Forgive them, forgive yourself and LET GO.

A ritual for energetic cord-cutting

Find a quiet place and light some candles then clear away negative energy with Palo Santo (available here). Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Then perform this visualization exercise:

Picture a thick cord coming from the center of your body, traveling deep into the earth and tying you safely to the core. Grounding you and protecting you.

Now imagine the person, place or thing you wish to let go.

Visualize a physical cord with this relationship and imagine cutting it. Tell this person, place or thing that you love them and are grateful for them but will no longer be tied to them. 

Remove the cords.

Visualize the cord you tied to the earth coming back to your center. 

Bring your awareness back to reality and move your body (try a quick yoga flow or delicious stretch).


Finish by lighting some Sweet Grass (available here) and bring in new, vibrant positive energy into your home and the energy within. 



How do you challenge your growth and reach toward your highest self? Share in the comments below or connect with me on Instagram using #PhilosophieLove.

Magical Moon Talk: Cancer New Moon & Solar Eclipse

We are welcoming in a New Moon in the house of nurturing Cancer but also a powerful Solar Eclipse with it. Even if you’re not able to witness it, this energy can be felt worldwide. It’s our job to understand and know how to tap into this energy and use it to make powerful transformations during the season ahead. 


Eclipses have the ability to influence the next 6 months and act as a pivotal time of change. Solar Eclipses only happen when there is a New Moon and hold a strong sense of new beginnings. As this one is focused in Cancer we’ll draw attention to aspects that make up our “home” and sense of being whether it’s our personal relationships, feminine spirit, comfort, stability, and emotions.  


Because of this Solar Eclipse coupled with the Cancer New Moon you can expect emotions to be opened wide and deeply felt throughout the day. Allow some time to yourself and you travel through these emotions. Hold yourself and acknowledge all that you’re feeling. This is a time for calling forth your deepest desires and true needs from a place of intuition Cancer encourages. Listen to your heart and gut feelings for guidance during this astrological event. You never know what could be opened up for you.

“TOTAL Solar Eclipse NEW MOON in Cancer in the sign of the Great Mother, nurtures the child within and offers us a refuge, a home within ourselves, where we can return to our place of Origin. This is the energy we are spiraling in with this Cancer Eclipse. Sensitivities are opened, our tender places are feeling tender, and the many facets our inner child can be more readily accessed, witnessed and integrated. Because of other aspects occurring including Mercury which is about to go retrograde 7/7, we must bring mindfulness to how we are expressing ourselves. With awareness of this, we can rise to a more mature response. Our inner Mother Elder Wise One can help guide the child within through all these changes. And as every Mother knows, play is the most creative fun way to engage with children and with Life. So amidst it all, let’s remember to yield to that Lightness of Being expanding within us and allow humor to lift us as we journey home to ourselves. May this beautiful MOTHER Energy continue to rise and awaken within each and every one of us, to help us to have more compassion for ourselves and for each other.” - MYSTIC MAMA


Channel all this magical energy through a vibrant yoga flow to help get out of your head and back into your back. I shared a 15 min. HITT Vinyasa Yoga Flow now up on my YouTube channel.



Grab a Magical Moon Satchel or “intuition kit” to help uplift your energy today and every day.

Happy New Moon and Solar Eclipse!

Sophie’s Podcast List

I’ll be the first to admit that I was pretty hesitant to jump on the podcast bandwagon. It wasn’t until I was a guest on some truly amazing podcasts and then took the HUGE leap and started my own with Adi (IGNTD podcast) that I began to truly appreciate the magic of this kind of storytelling. Podcasts have the unique way of bringing people together and sharing stories in an honest, authentic way as long as you come to it with the right intention. It’s incredibly rewarding and I feel so honored to be able to connect with my community in this way.


Now, I look forward to these talks with other women, content creators and entrepreneurs excelling at what they do. The feedback I receive whether it’s from our IGNTD podcasts or a podcast I’m a guest on is amazing and so entirely worth it.


Here’s a little round-up of all the podcasts I’m featured on and how you can tune into the IGNTD podcasts!


Love, Light & Lace with Marissa Lace // Vulnerability, Relationships, Honoring YOURSELF, + being a powerful mama

Listen here


The Alchemized Life with Ava Johanna // Why we all should practice radical transparency, a no BS gratitude practice, and conscious parenting

Listen here


Claim It! Podcast with Your Joyologist // A conversation on balance, living with intention, boundaries, motherhood, becoming an entrepreneur and what ignites joy

Listen here


Healthier Together with Liz Moody // Myself & Courtney Swan on things you’re not supposed to talk about—money, sex, & body image

Listen here


Off the Record // Life as a child, shame, intimacy, a "passion for fashion," and transforming tragedy into triumph

Listen here


Manifest This with Ashley Wood // Manifestation, magic and mindful motherhood

Listen here


Bring Your Own Kombucha // A chat on all things motherhood, balance, and living your best life!

Listen here


The Influencer Podcast with Julie Solomon // The importance of speaking your truth to grow your influence

Listen here


Almost 30 // A conversation about balance, motherhood, and saving a marriage

Listen here


Soul On Fire with The Balanced Blonde // A talk on friendships, balancing it all, motherhood, our food philosophy, life and so much more

Listen here


Dynamic Lifestyle // How to IGNITE your relationships, career, and well-being

Listen here


#Nofilter with Zack Peter // How to overcome cheating & F*ck Shame

Listen here

Adi and I starting IGNTD together, out of our home, was a huge leap for us and our partnership. It was tough in the beginning but now I look forward to every single conversation on our podcast with some amazing guests. We’ve created the space to be deep, vulnerable, honest and intentional.


The IGNTD Relationships podcast is an exploration of all things relationships whether that’s money, family, career, love and more - there’s nothing we won’t shy away from.


LISTEN HERE


Recovery Secrets offers an entirely new look at the addiction problem with my husband Adi.


LISTEN HERE


What podcasts do you listen to? Any shows you’d like me to appear on or any guests you’d like to see on the IGNTD podcast? We want to know!!