Here's the deal.
If you don't start speaking to yourself with love, you will never ever see yourself as beautiful, fit, skinny, toned, pretty, smart, fast.. whatever it is you want to look or feel like.
If you are desiring to change an aspect of yourself, FANTASTIC. We are here to grow, evolve, + change. But you will absolutely not truly see yourself as that evolved new person if you are continuing to speak negatively about yourself.
Here are some simple steps to help you get away from this negative habit:
Begin by jotting down in a notebook or on your phone each time you say something unkind to yourself. No matter what it is, take notes and build awareness for 3 FULL DAYS. Just the annoyance of needing to continuously write it down should help minimize the amount you do!
Believe “There Is No Perfect”
Give yourself a break! It's enormously freeing (not to mention a huge stress reducer) to stop holding yourself to insanely high standards. Perfect isn't real. Perfectionism is a dangerous place so when you recognize it in yourself, take action to relax your standards just a little. If you give yourself the same empathy you'd show a friend, it will be so much easier to take on the unkind voice and win.
My hubby speaks to shame a lot. He actually has a whole tedX talk dedicated to it! You can see it in it's entirety here. When you feel silly or dumb or like you said something ridiculous, instead of beating yourself up over it, call a friend and tell them how you're feeling. "Hey, I feel so silly, but I'm stuck in a downward spiral and it's only getting worse. Here's what happened..." By saying it out loud, you realize how SMALL of an issue it is and your friend will be there to support you. Shame only works if we keep it a secret! Be vulnerable and see what happens.
Replace Negativity with Positivity
In place of negative thoughts and habits, cultivate healthy positive habits:
- Start a gratitude journal.
- Create an at-home yoga retreat for yourself where you can relax + zen out.
- Sign yourself up for a new fitness class or a half-marathon.
- Put on a cute outfit even if you have no intention of the leaving the house.
- Pick up a positive affirmation card each morning.
- Take notes to witness your growth in any area of your life + build self-love!
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" —Marianne Williamson, Founder of The Peace Alliance