My kiddies look forward to Halloween all year long—a WEEK does not pass by without them asking if it’s trick-or-treating time yet.
Their sheer exuberance + JOY just makes me want to soak up this time of year even more, as there’s something so magic about autumn + the holidays over the next 3 months and experiencing it through children’s eyes. They especially love picking out their costumes + transforming for a night (this year Kai Bear's a turkey + my little piglet’s a piglet!).
After seeing them trying on their costumes, I started thinking about how becoming a mother was, and still is, one of the most TRANSFORMATIVE and profound experiences of my life—it was an experience that I knew I needed, that I had craved in my bones, in my core, down to my soul.
After my best friend died in our early 20's, I wandered aimlessly and unfulfilled. I was deeply sad, confused, lost. What was my purpose? Why am I here if those I love most are going to be ripped away from me?
After having Kai, nearly instantly, all my doubts vanished.
The radical transformation of self and the inherent alchemy that occurs during this passage between pregnancy and baby-entering earthside is one that needs to be talked about, embraced and celebrated.
Giving birth to a baby opens us up, as mothers, in the most acute way. Through this process we are transformed and reborn into a new state of being. Our inherent power becomes activated, as we are called to serve our children and our family. As mothers we become the nurturers, the caretakers, and the ones that have the ability and responsibility to heal the past and create a new future for our children. Through our choices and our willingness to become more aware, we open to the possibility of healing and transmuting what has been with what can be.
Through the magical passage to Motherhood, we give birth not only to our children, but also to ourselves. We are reborn into our fullness as we uncover the innate strength and power that comes with being a woman.
Becoming a Mother is a great honor, for it’s a stepping into an ancient archetypal force and journey of discovery that our mothers and grandmothers and all women in all time have journeyed through. It is major, it’s powerful, it’s beautiful, it’s challenging, it’s empowering, it’s heart opening, and it’s all encompassing. There is no doubt that the experience defines us.
Through it we learn to dance the cosmic dance. Balance and flow become our guides as we learn the importance of also nurturing ourselves, as we navigate all the different aspects and responsibilities of our lives.
We must embrace this dance with the great mystery of life as it calls us to become a vessel of her love. The path may not be an easy one, but it’s one that activates our abilities to be the centers points between earth and sky, to be the channels of the divine feminine and to awaken to our full potential as mother.
Motherhood: a loss + discovery
There is a certain amount of fear, sadness and loss that arises. It took some time for me to realize this is completely normal. Motherhood transforms your entire being. Your life purpose. Who you think you are and who you think you aren't. This new life is created, all of a sudden, and although this new life will bloom you into your fullness, into your mommy-ness, it's still so challenging. You must allow yourself time to mourn your old life and transition with as much ease as possible.
There is nothing like being a mother and you will grow more than ever before into a beautiful strong tree that will give shelter to your little bird or birds. When Kai was born, my mother in law wrote to my husband and said one simple sentence. One of the most powerful, profound and truthful phrases I've yet to hear again in my life.
She simply wrote, "Now you know how much we love you."
Yes, there is a loss of the old you. The independent you. The you that lives and breaths only for you. And there is NOTHING wrong with feeling and connecting to this loss. But the immense gain of your love and your strength is what it’s all about, and you can’t even imagine it or conceive it until it happens to you, until you become transformed from the core of your very being. When you take the leap and finally emerge on the other side and realize that you ARE, you are a mother—nothing more beautiful…Embrace and c e l e b r a t e this beautiful calling, it is indeed, a gift.