The path to fulfillment is paved from within
By Sarah Elizabeth Colburn
No matter what stage of life a woman is going through (whether she is a young adult, mom-to-be, active mama, or seasoned mom), when she reflects on the journey of motherhood, a plethora of thoughts and emotions run through her head and heart. Excitement. Enthusiasm. Fear. Doubt.
- Will I know how to care for this little human?
- Am I going to completely lose touch with myself and my own needs?
- Do I put my dreams and career on the back burner so I can best meet the needs of my children?
- What does it mean to be a “good mom”?
Rising up of the Soul Mama
There is a controversial and growing group of women all around the world who have been emerging from mainstream motherhood in the last few generations. These women, who we’ll call Soul Mamas, have evolved and grown through trial and error, celebration and loss. Soul Mamas have a knowing in their bones and intuition in their bellies about the importance of self-love—especially when in the position of caring for others.
They put themselves first in order to care for their little ones from their highest level of consciousness. They take a moment to get centered before making lunches and tending to others’ needs. They set aside time for meditation/prayer and exercise, and focus on their own goals in life, even during the precious early years of their little ones’ lives.
What About the Babes?
They don’t cast their children’s needs aside, far from it. Soul Mamas are readily adaptable and know how to flex their priorities in order to spend quality time with their children AND take care of themselves and do their work in the world. Soul Mamas recognize that when their own needs aren’t taken care of (which are no one else’s responsibility to fulfill except for their own), they are irritable and much less than their best. Soul Mamas live an artful life; they remember that every child and every woman has different needs, and they don’t conform to society’s expectations of them and their families just to satisfy the collective ego.
Misconceptions Surrounding Soul Mamas
Many men and women alive today don’t quite understand Soul Mamas right away, and may even think of them as selfish and self-serving, two adjectives that have a negative connotation in Western culture. These people who have doubts about the importance of caring for and accepting ourselves, especially our faults and shadows, have a hard time grasping the absolute cruciality of self-love. Because they may not be aware of how to love themselves, when they see Soul Mamas putting themselves first and following their own dreams with their children by their side or maybe even in the background, they confuse this healthy dynamic with self-centeredness.
Once Empowered, There’s No Stopping Her
The truth is, when a Soul Mama has practiced and mastered the art of loving and caring for herself in the world, she is capable of serving not only her own little ones and partners, but she now can become a leader and a mentor to many others as well. She is is full from the inside out, so she has multitudes more to give than a woman who seeks fulfillment from her partner, her children, her social circles, or her career.
Bringing Ourselves to Wholeness & Lighting the Flame
The children and partners of Soul Mamas have a distinct advantage as well.
Some women spend their lives telling their children how to act, when children really learn by watching how adults live their own lives. Joseph Chilton Pierce says, “In order to raise intelligent, loving children, we must first bring to wholeness the models they are following.” The children of Soul Mamas grow up learning how to think critically and for themselves. They become inventors, artists, entrepreneurs, loving partners and parents, compassionate environmental stewards, and secure co-creators in a world so desperately in need of conscious leaders. The children of Soul Mamas know that they will be loved and accepted no matter who they are or what choices they make. They will have an awareness of the importance of loving themselves first and believing in the beauty of their dreams.
The partners or friends of Soul Mamas learn how to stand on their own and take responsibility for their own happiness in order to be more effective and influential actors in their own lives. Once her flame is lit, it can be spread to many others without dimming her own light.
So How to Be A Soul Mama?
- Check out your competing commitments, and see if there are any contradictions that put a damper on your own happiness and the wellbeing of your children. Then, strategically begin to organize what you are ready to let go of and what you want to move into.
- Remember, your own well-being and that of your children are intricately tied; the children of happy mothers are happy.
- Unapologetically make time for yourself and your own mental, emotional, and spiritual growth.
- Feed yourself Philosophie Superfoods and other soul strengthening nutrition.
- Drink plenty of fresh, pure water.
- Find a way to do the work you feel called to do in the world and contribute to the household, while remaining true to yourself.
- Connect with other empowered women who believe in the importance of self-care and create a conscious community of support around you.
- Distance yourself from those who judge, criticize, and believe in only one right way to do things.
Follow Your Bliss
This journey into Soul Mamahood will look different for every woman and can be entered at any stage. And, as a wise friend gently reminded me as I wrote this article, the dance between self-love and service to others is a delicate balance.
We want to care for our children, pour love over our spouses and friends, help others in the ways that we are called. But if we are compassionately serving others without loving ourselves, this gift can become a thorn, and we end up depleted. Whether a child is still a little nugget in your belly, a thought in your mind, a vivacious 3 year old, a burgeoning teenager, or a grown adult, the best place to start is here and now.
Joseph Campbell wrote one of the simplest and most powerful statements that has been uttered, “Follow your Bliss.” Follow your bliss because that is why you are here. Follow your bliss because it is the pathway to a rewarding and meaningful life. And last but not least, follow your bliss so you can show our children and loved ones how to follow theirs.
We’d love to hear how you embrace the way of the Soul Mama. Share your stories and thoughts on Twitter and be sure to tag #myphilosophie!