Tag: mother

A Note on Breast Cancer Awareness

As we end October, I reminded of another important aspect of the month besides all the pumpkin patches and costumes and one that holds a close place to my heart. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and it’s NEVER too late to show your support. Read on for more!

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Embracing the Transformative Power of Motherhood


As my kiddies slipped into their Halloween costumes + transformed into a little turkey + piglet, I began thinking about my own TRANSFORMATIVE JOURNEY over the past 5 years of becoming a mother. Read on for my thoughts about facing fear and loss during this time, while ultimately embracing the BEAUTY + POWER of motherhood! 

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Motherhood: A fine balance

This was sent from the Arianna Huffington "On Becoming Fearless" daily meditation email. I was inspired to share it with all of you, as it struck a chord. Here's to balance, mamas + papas! 

Ever since the days of Benjamin Spock’s groundbreaking book on how to raise a child, women have been wondering, “Am I doing the right thing?”, “Am I too protective or not protective enough,” or, “Will my kids love me when they grow up?” 


There is no one formula for raising children. Each child is different and each parent is different. Infants and toddlers need more vigilant parents, because they haven’t formed the boundaries yet of what is safe and not safe. Yet, as they are learning to walk, we still have to let them fall, get up, then fall again. If we protect them from falling by carrying them in our arms, they will never learn. 


A fine balance exists between the ‘helicopter’ mother who hovers over her child day and night and the laissez-faire mom who allows the child free rein. Sometimes we are over protective, sometimes not protective enough. As long as children know they are loved unconditionally, and that a reprimand is not a withdrawal of that love, they will eventually come to the conclusion that mom tried to do the very best she could, and the love will be returned just as we hoped and prayed it would. 


The mother-child relationship is paradoxical…It requires the most intense love on the mother’s side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent… - Erich Fromm 

Most-Time Stay at home Mom

"Are you a stay at home mom, or do you work?" is a question commonly asked around the playground. 

I used to struggle answering and fumble around with my words.  If you're also in an undefined role relating to your kids (or anything) this may help you work it out a bit.  
 
"The weekends and most days after 2p I'm with the kids. And one date night. and when I go to the gym/yoga. Unless something comes up with work or I need a shower or "me" time." That's hard to explain to a complete stranger at the park. There's really not a word for what I am. 
 
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Don't get me wrong: I'm AN AWESOME mommy. I love my kids more than anything on the planet and would give my life for them. If you asked me to jump in front of a moving vehicle for them, I wouldn't even hesitate, I would just clarify which color vehicle to throw my body in front of and I'd be off. They are my world. I ache for them when they are not beside me, which makes me adore the time we have together even more. They are my reason for living and I wouldn't be whole without them. 
 
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Lately, I've come into a place where I feel comfortable with my answer and grounded in my unique mommy role.
 
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My response now? "I work a few hours a day for my own company and spend the rest of the time with my kids." And that's the truth. For some reason, I felt like there was something wrong or I wasn't a good mom if I wasn't being a typical stay at home mom. (mommy guilt, anyone?) That the way I'm "supposed" to be a proper mommy; to stay home all day every day with my kids. But it's just not reality and the bottom line is it's not what makes me HAPPY. 
 
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I am a BETTER mommy (wife, friend, sister, daughter, human) when I have ME time. When I get away from my mother role and contribute to the world in a larger way and put my energy into something that inspires me.
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I go to the gym 3-4 days a week and sometimes bring the kids and put them in kids club. Other times it's my start to the day and I just go on my way to work to take a shower byMYSELF, without holding an infant or explaining to a toddler why I'm shaving that and that no, it doesn't hurt. I leave the gym feeling naturally energized and motivated to take my chaotic day on with (hopefully) grace.

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 I take one evening a week for ME. Not with the hubby, just ME. Every Monday evening is Sophie night. Adi takes the kids and handles the bath and bedtime routine and my night usually consists of going to hear my favorite inspirational speaker Marianne Williamson and spending a few minutes before or afterwards at the coffee shop nearby journaling my notes and feelings. It feels GOOD to be ALIVE and a person outside of my mommy hood. Her powerful lessons and words light me up and give me inspiration for the week to come and remind me of what's truly important. As an entrepreneur and solo business owner, wife of an addiction researcher who is constantly "on" and helping his clients, a dedicated friend, sister, neighbor and citizen, I need to be lit up by others so that my flame can continue to shine bright. 
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We have two nannies that work on different days, each of them averaging around 10 hours a week. I trust them incredibly and it's nice to actually know there's another person out there that can handle your children if you can't be there and loves them as if they were their own. My nanny's thank ME for their amazing work. They think of it as a pleasure to be able to be with my kids, which only further proves the saying "it takes a village". We have several backup babysitters who we know from the gym or from friends and from sittercity.com (which I highly recommend!) We keep them on our roster and reach out anytime we need 45 minutes to just run out and grab a drink together to unwind and reconnect WITHOUT children. To have adult, uninterrupted conversations. This is key for our marriage/relationship and we are consequently better parents for those little monkey's because of it. We have a set date night of EVERY SINGLE Saturday night. It forces us to go out even if we have nothing planned (i.e. would rather stay in and watch netflix in pjs eating ice cream) and see a movie or grab a bite. 
 
ImageImageDon't get me wrong: I am with my kids A LOT. And any less wouldn't be ok with me. I spend every single morning (sometimes 5am it begins) with my kids and take Kai to school at 8:30. I'm the one to pick him up almost every day, assuming there's no work/traffic emergency. All weekend long it's me and the boys, galavanting about. Adi works a lot so unfortunately it's usually me alone with those little rabbits. When Adi is with us it's that much more magical. I pick Kai up at 3p most days and on Friday's at noon. I'm home by 2p latest almost every day to let the nanny go so I can spend some quality alone time with Leo before picking up his big brother. Then it's madness and chaos through the afternoon (playdates, park time, library, walks, etc) until the dinnertime, bath time & bed time routine. Most of it is super high quality time because I'm not so distracted by work stuff/social etc because it's out of my system from the few hours spent before.  I used cloth diapers most of the time with the boys. I breastfed. I'm creative with them and challenge them to use their imaginations. I feed them the most beautiful food on the planet and stay updated every moment the kids are away from me. I have the babysitters/nanny's write down every single thing Leo does while I'm at work- feedings/sleeping/etc so I can feel totally tuned in when we reunite. I get frustrated. Sometimes I'm short with them or lose my temper. I make mistakes. However, I love the way we do things and feel incredibly content with the current status. My only hope is I can take maybe one more hour away from work each day and give it to Leo in the upcoming months or maybe take an entire weekday away from working in the next 6 months to spend alone with my small man. It's all a balance and it's been a fun ride figuring out what feels right for me. 
ImageThere are some women out there that are just REALLY GOOD at being a stay at home momma. I tell myself they probably have more patience and are more organized. And that's okay with me! I finally feel at peace with who I am and have settled into this role of "mostly" stay at home mommy, and I'm better for it. No more guilt! (on this topic, anyway!)

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 My point? It's ok to handle things differently than the status quo. I don't consider myself to be any less of a GREAT mom because I don't spend EVERY WAKING MINUTE with my darlings. I don't judge myself for taking time to be passionate about other things in life besides my kids. And if you're a full-time working momma, kudos to you for dedicating so much effort and time to something that will make their lives better in the future. It's not easy leaving them for so many hours every single day. If you ARE a stay-at-home mom, you are a rockstar. The 100% full days I spend with my kids (Friday, Saturday, Sunday and occasionally a day during the week) I am WIPED by the end of the day. Each day is unique and beautiful and I thank God (the universe, fill in the blank) everyday for blessing me with these children and this oh so mysterious life.  

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There are some parents that are just perfectly fit to a certain way of doing things, like it's ingrained in who they are. For one of my best friends, there would be no option of her working for a single hour one day a week. For another close friend, she couldn't fathom spending time with her kids without the nanny there at the same time, just the thought overwhelms her. And all of it is perfect. Just be true to who you are and play around with different possibilities (more/less hours with a sitter/nanny/preschool/daycare/work/hobby) until you find your perfect parenting situation. Remember: parenting can exist on a spectrum, it isn't all or none. Your perfect balance is out there, just be open and flexible, honoring your truth. 

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Move. Nourish. Believe. Sophie Jaffe- Sporty Sister of the Week

wanted to share this beautiful interview from the lovelies at Move Nourish Believe! If you've never checked out their blog, I highly recommend it!


Sporty Sister Of The Week: Sophie Jaffe

Sophie Jaffe BANNER

Another Friday, another influential Sporty Sister. This week, we would like to introduce to you… Sophie Jaffe from Philosophie. All the way from Sunny California, we have been so honoured to sit down and chat with Sophie. Not only does she live and breathe the Move, Nourish, Believe way of life, but she is a woman of many talents – (throw in being a wife, a mother AND working with various celebs) – this girl is invincible!

Sophie shares with us a little snippet of how she is living her best, most beautiful life.

MNB: Hi Sophie, welcome to our humble MNB! Tell us a little bit about yourself.

I am firstly, a mama. I have two babes- Kai, 2 1/2 and Leo, 8 months. They are my heart and soul. I am married to a brilliant man who has his doctorate in psychology and is helping the world change the way we look at addiction. I’ve always been a super active person, constantly on the move. Nothing puts me more at peace than playing with healthy, happy food in the kitchen. I’m {overly} optimistic and trusting and would do anything for anyone I love.

MNB: So, word in the blogosphere is you’ve worked with a few big celebrities through your business Philosophie! Tell us more…

Yeah! Word is right! I can’t reveal all the celebrities I’ve worked with but I can peep about a few!

“I worked with George Clooney and Stacy Keibler for over 8 months multiple times a week in George’s home as his personal chef. I did several cleanses for Stacy and 2 for George. They were super sweet and wonderful to me. They LOVE my superfoods!”

I also helped Gerard Butler cleanse on two separate occasions, delivering food to his house each morning and staying to do a private yoga session a few times during the 10 days. It was pretty intense. We did an activity where we stared into each other’s eyes for several minutes (his suggestion) and I must say, as “yogi” as I am, I smiled a few times (breaking code) and it was such a challenge to not burst into tears or laughter. It was such an insane moment in my life.

MNB: As a wife, mother of two AND business woman, how do you manage to stay on top of it all and always perform at your peak?

Without working out, getting sunshine and eating a superfood-dense diet, I absolutely wouldn’t be able to handle it all. It’s all about balance and completely about taking the BEST care of yourself so you can better take care of everyone else. I also couldn’t do half the things I do without a serious support system.

My parents & my sister luckily live locally so they help when they can with the kids and emotionally support everything I do. My friends are there for me to vent and let go with anytime I need, and without my husband I wouldn’t even still be doing Philosophie.

He is the backbone of support, doing all the “behind the scenes” not-so-fun stuff like anything to do with finances and helping me really focus on my goals. We keep each other on track and motivated to be the best people and parents we can possibly be.

MNB: Have you always been passionate about healthy living? What was the ‘uh ha’ moment for you…

When I was a teenager I definitely wasn’t conscious of what it meant to be healthy. When someone else is responsible for grocery shopping and putting food on the table, it makes you very passive. I grew up in a reasonably healthy home and our meals were usually organic and filled with love.

When I moved to LA to live with my dad and attended UCLA, I was walking around a farmers market in Hollywood and had my “aha” moment. I saw a sign that had a baby lamb and some ridiculous verbiage… And from that moment on I went mostly vegan. That lasted 7 years, until I became pregnant with my first son. I began craving & dreaming of eating meat… And I had my second “aha” moment: listen to your body and intuition; don’t put yourself in a box. Ever since then I’ve been focusing on nutrition and superfoods and less about which “box” I put myself in (gluten-free, vegan, etc.).

Sophie Jaffe

MNB: What does a typical day of MNB’ing [Move, Nourish, Believing] look like in your world?

  • Wake up: “believe”- set my intentions for the day. Don’t touch my phone or computer ’til intentions are set & kids are fed and loved.

  • Breakfast: “nourish”- a huge superfood smoothie with Green Dream, Cacao magic, Berry Bliss, or ALL 3, and/or “green eggs” with spinach and green dream. Everything is family sized!

  • After dropping off my son at school: go straight to the gym. No excuses. Best way to start the day–“move”!

  • Then I usually run around nonstop until I pick Kai back up in the early afternoon. Running into the office to ship orders, demo samples at the stores I sell in, meetings, etc. Drink tons of h2o and snack on healthy fuel throughout.

  • I end my day by doing something for my spirit. This could be journaling, going to hear Marianne Williamson speak, a meditation with my hubs, or just saying out loud what I’m grateful for. This is the last thing I do before I hit the bed, and it ensures I have the best night of sleep possible!

MNB: Okay, so if you had to choose…what would be your top 3 ‘can’t live without’ foods of all time!

For sure my Green Dream superfood powder (I keep it in my purse!), raw chocolate & zucchini! I add my Green Dream to EVERYTHING from muffins to smoothies to doughnuts. Raw chocolate keeps me sane (every day) and zucchini is super versatile. It can be grilled in the summer, added to a stir fry dish or sliced thinly into raw “pasta”! I sneak the Green Dream and zucchini into everything for my boys.

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MNB: What does happiness look like to you?

Happiness to me is giggling uncontrollably, being around those I love, fresh juice and nature. Moving in my body in a free spirited way and being so overwhelmed with joy that I cry happy tears at least once by the end of the day. Happiness is being my truest, best self, being inspired and inspiring and most of all, shedding my light and joy to others so that they can find more light within their own lives.

MNB: What are some healthy snacks we could find stashed in your handbag?

I make my own bars with the superfood blends and my own raw chocolates (all recipes on the blog). So you’ll absolutely find a bar or two and a few chocolates (if I haven’t eaten them all). I usually have fresh fruit too; an apple, banana and clementine (that’s mandarin in Australia) are the easiest to grab and go! Nut butter or a trail mix is an easy thing to keep stashed in my car or purse as well and keeps my energy roaring for hours and hours. Oh and, so much water.

Sophie Jaffe Raw

MNB: Best advice you have ever been given?

When I was 18 my mom taught me that I couldn’t do everything and that saying “no” was one of the most honest and humbling things I could say. It completely changed my life when I realized I had that magic word within me, which would empower me to be that much more powerful.

MNB: What are some of your best-kept beauty secrets?

Honestly, keep it simple. What you eat is really what shows up on your skin. I’m asked multiple times a day what I do/use for my face. I’m lucky if I have time to wash it at the end of the day. If I’m wearing makeup I remove it with a gentle cleanser, use a pad with tea tree oil all over my face, then use some witch hazel (which you can get at the pharmacy ) a few nights a week. I also slather coconut oil on my face where it’s dry. That’s it! Less is more. The less ingredients the better. Don’t over complicate things!

MNB: Any tips or advice you could give to our readers just starting on their healthy, active journey?

Start to keep a food journal. It’s the best way to get back on track when you fall off and the easiest way to get ON a healthy track by being more aware of what you put in your body. Keep it for at least 3 days then see where you can make some changes.

I’d also suggest to do a cleanse for a fresh start. Make sure it’s full of nutrients though so you don’t get hungry, that’s not the point. The point of a cleanse is to saturate your body with nutrients, not deprive it through starvation. If you want a lifestyle shift, I’d suggest my 14 day cleanse so you can learn some new ways to eat, superfood recipes, healthy tips and ideas.

The recipes are easy and approachable for ANYONE, even those who have never cooked before in their life.

Sophie Jaffe Recipe

Thank you Sophie for sharing your passion for food, positivity, love and LIFE!

MNB

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