People often ask me how, after being lied to and manipulated, I found trust again in my relationship with Adi. Trust is not easy to come by and in any relationship it can make or break you. Trusting a friend, family member and partner is even more difficult to achieve when the things creating it have been broken. Difficult, but not impossible.
If you haven’t read about our history, read an article here that recaps most of it.
I wanted to take the time today to share some tangible steps to rekindling your trust and more important, your love.
- BOUNDARIES. Boundaries are an incredible way to communicate your needs, which also give your partner a chance to prove him/herself. If he/she has cheated or lied to you, they need a safe space to work in. Our boundaries are ever-evolving and changing. In the beginning, boundaries with Adi were very restricted, so much so that he couldn’t speak to other women, have friends that were women or go out for drinks with male friends. Over time, as he proved himself by continuously telling the truth and live within the boundaries made me trust him (slowly) and feel safe. Now you wouldn’t believe the boundaries we have in place and how free we are. It’s truly a miracle, but we continued to show up to each other and the work, and here we are!
- COUPLES THERAPY/GROUPS. I can’t say enough about healing and therapeutic connection. From individual therapy, to couples therapy, to therapy groups, we did it ALL and continue to maintain a healthy attendance. Adi went to a therapist several hours a week when everything first fell apart. We also went to a couples therapist and I saw an individual therapist. Find someone you really love. If you can’t afford therapy, find something in your community that’s more affordable. For the first 4 years we saw a sliding scale therapist and on average we paid about $40 a session (significantly less than most therapists). You can also connect with other people in your community going through similar issues. If you like 12 steps, there are tons of supportive 12 step groups out there. If you don’t, there are tons of other types of amazing groups that will be practically family by the time you’re finished.
- TIME. Time is something we can’t control and always wish we could speed up. Several times in my journey with Adi I would say, “Okay, I trust you! I’m not jealous anymore!” and try and will myself into believing I was okay. I WASN’T OK. I wasn’t ready. And you can’t fake it! Focus on the first two steps, and as you continue to engulf yourself into the work together, you will find that time is passing and you feel slightly better. Week by week, month by month, you will be growing closer and more connected. You will have a new relationship that looks way different than when you started, and that’s a good thing.
BONUS: ABSOLUTE transparency and willingness from your partner. WHATEVER it TAKES. And I mean, WHATEVER IT TAKES. It may seem insane or crazy but if it makes you feel better and makes you feel like you know deep down what your partner is saying is true, then make it happen. Example: FaceTime set on an iPad when traveling in a hotel room; having locations set on his/her phone so you know their constant whereabouts; telling the other about thoughts as well as real flirtations or encounters with others. This can be really triggering for people initially and feels really scary but I promise you, time after time, it will get easier.
Feel free to leave any and all questions below to encourage conversations within this beautiful community.
If you’d like to connect with me on any of the above, please reach out on any of my social media channels. I may not get back to you immediately, but I will listen and help as best as I can. Follow me on Facebook for more on how I navigate my relationships with my friends, kids, and husband.
I am so blessed with all these amazing women around me who inspire me every day! Philosophie BABE, Caroline from Caroline’s Kitchen created a sweet, nutritional afternoon pick-me-up with our superfood blends. Super easy and extra energizing!
I'm always looking for fun, creative ways to combine flavors and Caroline's recipe does just that. Berries and chocolate – need I say any more? The tartness of berries with the richness of chocolate makes for a powerful combination!
This smoothie is packed with superfoods including fiber rich ground flax and antioxidant filled cacao powder. For protein, combine Philosophie Cacao Magic and Berry Bliss superfood powders, which are each packed with goodness of their own like reishi, maca, and camu camu.
1 handful spinach
½ cup frozen berries (I love using blueberries and raspberries)
½ cup steamed + frozen cauliflower
1 tbsp ground flax
2 tsp Philosophie Cacao Magic
2 tsp Philosophie Berry Bliss
1 tbsp cashew butter
1 cup almond milk
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tbsp cacao powder
Place all the ingredients in a high speed blender and blend until thick, creamy, and smooth. You may need to stop and scrape the sides a few times. Drink as is or top with your favorite toppings–I'm a huge fan of cacao nibs and extra nut butter. Enjoy!
Make this smoothie for an afternoon snack or post workout for a delicious energy boost! Let me know what you think on Twitter. Use #MyPhilosophie or #PhilosophieSuperfoods!
Isn’t it wonderful that avocados seem to always be in season? In California, we’re truly blessed. Avocados have an especially long growing season that lasts from February through September. For the other few months, they're imported from our neighbors.
Avocado toast has become a California staple and I’m still a fan. These nutrient-dense veggies are made up of about 20 vitamins and minerals from Vitamin K to Vitamin C. Take the traditional avocado toast and combine it with Green Dream Superfood Blend for an added superfood punch. Top with feta cheese, nuts and sundried tomatoes for a bit of extra pizzazz and flavor.
1 slice of Canyon House Gluten Free Bread (or favorite bread of your choice)
1 small Avocado
1 tbsp Feta Cheese
A handful of chopped sundried tomatoes
1 tbsp of pine nuts
1 tsp Green Dream
While the bread is toasting, mash 1 avocado in a bowl with 1 tsp of green dream, spread avo mixture on the bread and top with feta, chopped tomatoes, pine nuts, and a sprinkling of added green dream!
Show me some of your Green Dream #ToastTuesday creations on Instagram! Use #PhilosophieSuperfoods or #PhilosophieLove.
This Chameleon Cold-Brew has changed my life in the last year. It makes my mornings so much easier AND cold brew is not as acidic on our system as regular coffee can be. By adding the Philosophie Coconut Bliss and full fat coconut mylk, it helps slow down the absorption of caffeine so it doesn’t make you feel anxious or jittery like coffee alone.
Cacao Magic + coffee is PURE MAGIC. Our Cacao Magic Superfood Blend has cacao, reishi and maca in it, which each help with focus and natural energy. Reishi is so incredible for longevity, and cacao and reishi are incredibly high in antioxidants. Coffee is also rich in antioxidants which help pause the aging process in cells. Who doesn’t want to reverse aging?! You’re welcome.
Check out my Chameleon Cold-Brew Smoothie video here if you want another idea for a fun cold brew recipe.
1 Cup of Chameleon Cold-Brew
¼ cup Coconut Creamer or Full Fat Coconut Canned Organic Milk
1 tsp Cacao Magic Superfood Blend and Cacao Bee Honey
1 tbsp Cacao Magic Coconut Butter
1 scoopful of Vital Proteins Collagen
1 tbsp Solstice Canyon Aztec Chocolate Almond Butter
Add all ingredients into a blender and blend! Pour into a mug and think about what you want to create energetically today. What intention do you want to set for the day ahead? What are you grateful for? We have a CHOICE each and every day to see the world and our lives as we want to see them.
Do you supercharge your mornings with Philosophie and Chameleon Cold-Brew products in other ways? Share other energizing drinks + coffee blends with me on Facebook. Use #PhilosophieLove or #PhilosophieSuperfoods and #ChameleonColdBrew!
Word are a powerful tool and often overlooked. More often than not, they can be a great source of stability when you're slipping far too deep into that dark place within your soul. Our Philosophie Goddess, Sam Maracic, took some time to share her favorite reads when your thoughts and emotions are taking over and you’re in need of mental support + clarity.
Thank you, Sam!
When it comes to confronting the word “emotion” where does one begin? Most likely we start in that fun, comfortable place. The place where feelings like happiness, excitement and love pervade our very being. But as we all know, that’s not always reality. Sometimes we’re sad, sometimes we’re anxious and sometimes we’re just plain old going through sh*t.
When times like this come rolling in, it can be hard to get out of your own way.
For me, that’s where reading comes in. Books provide that little bit of mental reset, and when chosen wisely, provide me with the clarity necessary to look at the world from a very different perspective. Hopefully, one that reacquaints me with the ability to withstand and overcome whatever it is I’m facing.
Here are three of my tried and true, anxiety busting, joy inducing go-to’s.
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
by: Brene Brown
In her book The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, New York Times best-selling author and professor Brené Brown lays out ten guideposts for engaging with the world from a place of worthiness. Through this work readers are taught to mindfully embrace imperfections, develop courage, and ultimately acknowledge that they are enough- regardless of situation, obstacle or circumstance.
As a leading expert on shame, authenticity, and belonging, Brown has been featured in Oprah Winfrey’s daytime series SuperSoul Sunday, as well as internationally recognized for her viral 2010 TED talk entitled “The Power of Vulnerability.” If you haven’t seen it yet, be sure to check it out here. I promise it will be the best spent 20 minutes of your day, or at the very least, the most transformative.
by: Glennon Doyle
When it comes to compelling writers Oprah certainly has her finger on the pulse of what’s up because like Brené Brown, Glennon Doyle has garnered major attention for her gritty memoir Love Warrior. Earning a spot on Winfrey’s coveted book club list, Love Warrior details the collapse of Doyle’s marriage and her subsequent journey toward self discovery. In addition, she also honestly discusses her courageous battles with both addiction and bulimia.
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
by: Pema Chödrön
There are not enough words for me to fully describe the impactful nature of Pema Chödrön’s words. However, I have tried. In fact, I’m such a fan of this book that I wrote an entire article about it, which you can find here. If you’re sad, lost, confused or even bored, take some time to dive into this book. I promise you will not be the same after.
Share some of your personal favorite reads you turn to when you’re in need of a mental recharge on my Twitter. Use #MyPhilosophie or #PhilosophieLove. The more the better!
Can I listen to Jack Johnson and make these fluffy, superfood banana pancakes every morning?! I LOVE lazy mornings with my kiddos and husband, and many of those mornings are centered around our breakfasts. I try to add a bit of nutritional value to all of my meals, even if I sneak in a little chocolate or indulge in some sweets. These Simple Mills Superfood Banana Pancakes are perfect for any family breakfast and full of nutritional sweetness!
Simple Mills really know what they’re doing with their amazing pancake & waffle mix. Made up of almond flour, coconut flour & coconut sugar for added nutrients and entirely gluten-free. Did I mention it's also free of soy, corn, dairy & gum/emulsifiers? This just means you can eat about 5 to 10 and not feel like a balloon. Mixed with Berry Bliss Superfood Powder and topped with Green Bee Honey for an extra immune boost (a huge plus during the cold season), you’d think you can hardly call these pancakes, but that first bite will tell you differently.
I’m head over heels for these delectable breakfast creations and your family will be too! It's a perfect morning treat for the upcoming holidays off of work and school.
1 box of Simple Mills Banana Muffin Mix (used for pancakes)
1 large Banana (chopped)
1 tsp Berry Bliss Powder
1 tbsp Grass Fed Butter
1 Tsp Green Bee Honey
1 tbsp Coconut Oil
2 Tbsp Shredded Coconut
Fresh Organic Berries
Follow instructions for the pancakes on the back of the Simple Mills box, but add chopped banana and 1 tsp of Berry Bliss Superfood Powder to the batter for extra goodness. Warm ½ tsp coconut oil in a pan on the stove. Add batter and cook for 3 minutes or so on each side. Top with grass fed butter, a drizzle a bit of Green Bee Honey, a sprinkle of shredded coconut and fresh berries!
Have you used Simple Mills with other Philosophie products? Let me know about other food creations on Facebook! Use #MyPhilsophie or #PhilosophoeLove!